Saturday, 5 May 2012

Preparing for Battle!

I’ve had a busy and therefore exhausting week! Went back to the GP to get my referral paperwork in order, stronger pain medication and yet more insulin as I'm currently using it like its going out of fashion! I also had my first appointment with my new hand therapist.

Apparently I'm very lucky that my consultant has referred me on diagnosis as some people don’t get access to this service until their joints actually start to degenerate?! (It’s one of those things that doesn’t even cross your mind until you’re in the situation but considering she spent an hour telling me how to strengthen and protect my joints to avoid physical deformity, this lack of widespread access is just awful.)

So as a result I’ve been feeling extremely positive about everything. I’ve been diagnosed very early, I seem to have found myself in the care of a great and proactive medical team and my new pain meds have definitely taken the sharp, stabbing sensations out of the pain in my hands, wrists and ankles.

I must confess though to being absolutely terrified of the RA medication I’ll be starting soon. Having had initial discussions about the various options, we have decided to start with Sulfasalazine and see how we go from there. The main reason for this is my BF and I will having a baby at some point in the next few years (after the house and marriage bits!) and the last thing I want to do is get settled on a new regime and then have to rethink everything.

I’ve noticed that throughout my posts I accidently jump between “I” and “We” a lot when it comes to discussing decision making. This is because my family have once again proven themselves to be a source of un-waiving support and to me when I need them most so I rarely feel like I have to make these decisions alone.

My Mum is so obviously hurting seeing me embark on this process of diagnosis/stabilisation yet again whilst she is helpless to do anything to take it from me. Yet she remains endlessly positive and enthusiastic. It might seem strange to find someone being enthusiastic about a new medial condition comforting, but when something like this happens it is all-consuming and can be very difficult to cope with when it begins to slowly drop off other people’s radars. (Don’t they understand this is THE biggest thing happening in the world right now??) But my Mum always wants to know everything that is said by any medical professional I come into contact with. In fact, despite be being 28, she comes to most of my appointments because it seems my information relaying skills are not quite up to her standards!

And then there is my wonderful BF who has been more amazing through this than I could ever have hoped for. I always knew I had found someone very special when I was diagnosed with T1D 6 weeks into our relationship and he didn’t run a mile! He came to see me in hospital when I hadn’t showered or washed my hair for days and still gave me a huge kiss and a cuddle. Not quite the “honeymoon period” that most relationships get to go through! But now, to have to do it again, and with me in such desperate pain, well I just don’t know yet quite how you thank someone for being with you through that.

So I guess what I’m trying to hold on to is, whilst this is most definitely, immensely unfair and utterly terrifying, I am in the best possible place to start my new battle, with the most amazing people by my side and for that I am truly thankful.

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